Instead of being at work today, I attended an information session on a Ph.D. program I’ve been considering applying to for admission.  I thought it would make my decision easier, but I was wrong.

If left before the last session because the first 4 hours gave me enough things to chew on that any more information and my brain would really hurt.  There is a part of me that really wants to pursue a Ph.D., but on the other hand, I’m not sure if I’m willing to sacrifice the very little free time I have now for more schooling.  Let alone the very little time that I get with my daughter.  And frankly, I just don’t know if I am, how do I say this, cerebral enough for a Ph.D.  I am a fairly straight shooter kind of person and changing my mental process to analyze and analyze again academic processes, themes and pedagogical theories just doesn’t excite me.  If I am going to have to devote THAT much time to academic study again, I better be excited about it.

So this weekend I am going to think.  Talk to my husband.  Then think some more.  And by Monday I will make a decision.  Perhaps there are other ways to pursue the career goals that I have.   I can get a refund on my GRE registration, return the unopened box of study material to Amazon.com and get on with life.

On another note, today is the 4th anniversary of my dad’s passing.  I wish he was here to counsel me with this decision.  I wish he was here…period.